| Dream as if You'll Live Forever |
[Apr. 12th, 2009|10:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Garbage - Milk | ] |
Mom, Tyler, Monica, Kelly and the babies came through town today to spend Easter with Gma and more extended family in Yakima. Today happens to be Gma's 90-billionth birthday. Tyler first showed me a video about the wave of the technological future. Sixth Sense Computers. It's better to watch the video than try to explain it, but it's basically a way to instantly google everything you come across. And instead of taking out your phone/pda/whatever you use, you have preset settings so it knows what you want to google. Then projects onto the surface in front of you and with your hands you mess with it. It's pretty rad. Soon as they start mass producing this shit, everyone will want one.
If you can't see the video I embedded, the link is http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/481.
Then the hilight of the Yakima trip for me was chatting with Uncle Tom about what I'm doing with my life. Which is I am currently getting back into class, B.S. in Flight Technology, Aviation Management specialization. So far I've declared Math Minor, but I'm 90% sure I'll go Physics Minor too. And then, kinda for giggles, I've been entertaining the thought of an Astronomy Minor as well. Though my goal is to be an international airline pilot, some day, I ran out of money to keep up with the Flight Officer specialization and had to downgrade. In the end, I'm pleased with the Major switch. And I'm still allowed to get the training I want here, and at my own pace. Still scraping together funds at the moment though.
Well, Uncle Tom got really excited at hearing "Math" and "Physics." He wants me to look into becoming a Payload Specialist for NASA. He was all kinds of excited about it, and telling me about a friend's daughter who's going this route- no military involvement at all. He's got friends who can get my foot in the door, or can sponsor me, or find scholarships or something. Uncle Tom was talking very fast about a lot of things, and all sorts of excited about it. He's all, "get yourself in outer space! We'll get the whole family together go down and watch you take off. Blah blah it'll be so great!" Haha. He wants to live vicariously through me. I told him I'd look into it and do my best to let him. =)
I mean, when I was a little tike I always dreamed of becoming and astronaut and walking on the moon and all that. But as I grew up it became clear just how fantastical that all really is. Freakin NASA? That and I was always hearing you'd basically have to be an Air Force test pilot first. Military is not for me. But commercial flying- a much easier feat. Who knows? |
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| The apple falls far from the tree |
[Jan. 13th, 2009|05:48 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pearl Jam - Better Man | ] |
Plenty on my mind lately. Wish I could sleep, but I can't seem to make myself tired these days until it's too late. Some loose ends are out there that need to be tied, it feels. Part of, somewhat, of a New Year's Resolution is not to leave things like that. Maybe I should explain more.
I was watching the movie Love Actually, and there's a part in Hugh Grant's monologue at the beginning when he mentions that when the planes on 9/11 went down, the phone calls from the people on board were not of hate or revenge. They were all messages of love. This got me thinking that, were I in a hostage situation able to make phone calls before my certain death, I don't really know who I would call. There are several I would want to, things that just need to be said. Though I get the feeling that as soon as I make one call, there will be no hanging up to make another. I gather in this situation it wouldn't be possible to hang up. So then there's the thing to consider, who would suffice to have received a message I have delivered, and who would almost absolutely need to hear it from the source? I have a few speculations on the sort.
So, I'm trying to put myself in this mindset. I don't want to leave loose ends, I'd almost say I need closure. For being someone as uninhibited as myself, I'm lacking the balls to tackle this. I'm afraid of confrontation; but part of tying said loose ends requires addressing some bad blood. We could try to forget about it, but that won't be possible for me if/when I actually attempt to do this. I'm not sure what to do, but what's comforting is that I'm pretty sure the other party doesn't know either. This has been eating at me, and it's got to end. It's not worth all this stress.
At my earliest convenience, I think I'll be forcing myself to tackle this. Though there's nothing convenient about it. Just hope we come out the other side better for it.
( bold and strong ) |
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| Can't Buy Me Love |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|08:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ram Jam - Black Betty | ] |
I noticed that my number did not change for all of 2008. I'm not nearly as much of a slut as people say I am! I haven't made the wisest decisions over the last year and a half, but I think that I have learned plenty. While some situations may have sucked, looking back on it I'm glad everything happened the way that it did. I learned things about certain people I would rather have not carried on blindly unknowing. I really am grateful.
Winter Quarter was supposed to start today. I, however, have yet to pay for Fall Quarter and thus am unable to enroll in Winter until that hold on my account is lifted. I'm trying to apply for loans, but I've been selected for verification, which is going to take more time. I've accepted that everyone needs loans to finish school. I get it. Now give them to me so I can be in debt the rest of my life! Ugh. Here's hoping they'll let me enroll knowing that what they're asking of me is going to take more time to get money to them than the add/drop period lasts.
My 4 year plan had me graduating in 2009. But now my 5 year plan has me graduating in 2010 XD. I was kind of upset about it at first, but oh well. I basically took a quarter off, but while I wasn't in school I figured out exactly what I'm going to do. Instead of stick around Ellensburg even longer to instruct at Midstate Aviation forever- I will be moving to Ft. Lauderdale, FL to attend the Gulfstream Training Academy, where life will continue to be awesome. I may never even get a Certified Flight Instructor Certificate.
As far as LiveJournal goes: I am going to try to keep up with this. I'm glad to see that at least the Tanya's of the world are sending me messages asking for my account rather than cleverly trying to reset my password, because that just sends me emails in Russian >.<. I'm sorry, ladies, I created this account when I was 13 so I deserve it! I will do my best to earn it. I know, it's been a year since my last entry. Whoops. It's been a busy year.
I'm regularly playing WoW. My main is a level 80 warlock. It also kind of takes up a big chunk of my time. Speaking of which, my 1500 queue is up now. More later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2008|04:41 am] |
I played WoW for the first time today. I'm a little embarrassed, but at least all my geeky friends will think I'm cool now... yeah. It was, um, fun. And after much debate, I decided I'm gonna go ahead and get it on my computer. Well I mean, I'm going to have my boyfriend put it on my computer. I have trouble sleeping quite frequently, and WoW will give me something to do rather than tossing and turning. That's something too... I all has boyfriend n stuff. Usually not my thing, but he's kind of a big deal. Well, he's also kind of gay, but good in bed so I'll let that slide for now. AND I'm about to move into a super sweet apartment. The place I've been living in was supposed to be temporary (just to escape the relationship I was in) but by the end of this month I'll have been here for 10 months. Guh. I might as well have signed a lease. But my landlord loves me so he's giving a super good reference...
uh ok it's WoW time so bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2007|01:26 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | redmond, wa | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | rocky votolato - suicide medicine | ] |
I am currently in Redmond. I had every intention of posting a public entry and a private entry. But I can think of more things to say in the public.
I'm a little tipsy. My parents went down to Vancouver today but my sister n her husband and my brother n his fiancee and I are driving there in the morning for my grandmother's (dad's mother's) funeral. There's no beer in the fridge, because supposedly Uncle Steve drank it all. So I've been tapping the bourbon and coke. Dad buys Old Ezra 101 proof. My other option was tequila and that's not gonna happen. I don't feel like I've been drinking that much - it's hard to drink THAT much of this stuff because even when I mix it with coke I still feel like I'm drinking a straight shot. But I think dad will notice the level of his bottle.
I haven't cried yet solely because of grandma's death. I know I'm a bad person. I never enjoyed being around her. I never really got to know her. She was more of a nuisance than anything else to me. It seems like with everyone in my family (save for, on occasion, my siblings) we ooze nothing but small talk. I hate small talk to begin with. How many times in a night can I tell someone else I barely know how I've been going to college, I fly airplanes, and I work in a casino, and it's really all just great - can't possibly be enjoying life more..? Well, the last few times I saw grandma Marion, she wouldn't even support the small talk. She'd ask me how things are. I'd spew the usual garbage. Then I would reciprocate and the appropriate answer was "fine." But not lately. She'd say "oh not good" and then barrage me with tales of her explosive diarrhea and difficulty walking. I never got to know her. I know I should have tried harder. But I couldn't bring myself to converse with her.
I guess I felt the same way about dad's father. I did not enjoy those conversations. I don't want to get old. Then again, that's assuming that I'm not already boring.
I'm too gone to finish this. Bored again. I won't even make it to a private entry. Well, maybe a sentence or 2. |
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| tanyagivesrimjobs |
[Aug. 1st, 2007|06:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awesome | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Stephen Lynch - Hermaphrodite | ] |
Last night was UH-mazing. First off, I passed my instrument EOC in the morning [way too early in the morning--8 AM-1 PM] so I'm basically an instrument pilot now. I'm getting my temp license tomorrow at noon. After work we decided to play the 300 movie drinking game. Holy shit I was not prepared for THAT much hotness. They tried to make me drink everytime I saw a hot guy and I told them to fuck right off. Well... I don't know HOW it came up exactly... I think I was giving Keith shit about what a homo he is and Nate just pipes up with an "I can't keep this a secret any longer." We all think he's about to come out of the closet, but no, his next words are "We have this Fantasy Football League at the casino. There's 10 of us guys involved in it and I know it's going to come out eventually... I'm pretty sure Little John's team name is Tanya gives rim jobs."
Laughter roared through the apartment. Keith about pissed his pants standing in the kitchen. Nate said it was like all one word "tanyagivesrimjobs" so you have to say it fast. I was nearly in tears... and I couldn't stop giggling about it the rest of the night. Zach went out to smoke and walked back in giggling about tanyagivesrimjobs and saying he's going to shake John's hand for that genius. I kept askin "why? Why me? I like... never talk to John. Barely know the guy. Why?" Everyone assured me it's because I'm a bitch. Keith took the opportunity to bring up that people think I'm more of a bitch than they do that Keith is gay. He said "At least there's no team called Keith is a fanny bandit." We were all rolling... but I think Zach almost died at that comment. He was so red. And assured us that he's not going to call Keith by anything other than "fanny bandit" from now on.
Awesome. |
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| Everyone hail to the pumpkin song |
[Jul. 29th, 2007|05:29 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  scared | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | This IS Halloween | ] |
The other day I was exposed to this video. It's Marilyn Manson's remake of "This Is Halloween" from Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas. Supposedly Tim called him up and told him the idea he had for remaking the song and Manson was just like "Yeah. I'll do it. No money. Let's do this." I've also heard that it's spawned from the upcoming remake of the original Halloween movie. It is quite possibly the most evil thing to penetrate my ear hole.
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| No day but today |
[Jun. 13th, 2007|06:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Silverchair | ] |
Life is too short to waste time on dramatic "what if?"s and relationships that make you miserable. Get out while you still can and live. |
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| Summer sun, somethin's begun, but oh-ho the Summer nights |
[Jun. 6th, 2007|03:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | jubilant | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Foo Fighters - Darling Nikki | ] |
well oh well oh well oh UNGH! Tell me more, tell me more...
I've re-entered the days of going to work while the sun is still up, and leaving work while the sun is beginning to rise. Then after work stay up till 7/8 AM with something like drinking and/or watching movies and/or playing games 'n' hanging out. I am beyond excited.
This Summer will be full of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll.
Well, by drugs I mean strictly alcohol and caffeine.
And by rock 'n' roll I mean guitar hero. And possibly Warped Tour.
Try to remind me to take pictures. |
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| 2007 Honda Civic Hybrid |
[Jun. 3rd, 2007|11:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungover | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Rocky Votolato | ] |
Opal Silver Blue Metallic |
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| Why? |
[May. 30th, 2007|02:16 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | pleased | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Goofy Movie | ] |
Why why WHY is it that people keep trying to reset my LJ password? Is Tanya really THAT desirable of a journal name? It's not terribly inventive. It's incredibly simple, and I like it that way. It's the name I was born with, and I created this journal when I was like 13. So I'm entitled to it. I know, every Tanya on the planet can be jealous that they didn't come up with the LJ "Tanya" first. So maybe I owe it more. Whatever.
In other news, I uh totally bought a new car today. Cuz I'm nuts. |
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| always stupidly sarcastic, my hyperspastic, superhero girl |
[May. 22nd, 2007|03:06 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
I just finisnhed watching the season finale of Heroes [I seriously am a fan of the show, but I totally forgot about it until it was 40 minutes in... so I had to wait until 2 AM when NBC posted the episode online]. While the ending did nearly make me cry, I have to say that I am disappointed certain obvious alternatives weren't addressed. I agree with what many people posted on the message boards [but I'm too lazy to make an account and respond], the writers really dropped the ball on this one. Arguments CAN be made... but who wants to make excuses for the writers? All it would take is one line of dialogue, possibly two. [I don't want to ruin it for any who haven't seen it yet but] it would go something like "Hey, why don't you [do this thing] that you've almost always been able to do before?" "I can't focus, this is getting too big for me!" Cut it back to one line if one character gives a quizzical look while the other meshes those two thoughts in response.
Yeah I don't know... I've never been real picky about the episodes before because I figur it'll get explained in a following episode, but this is the freakin finale!
</end> |
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| You've been replaced by a prettier face. |
[May. 21st, 2007|01:56 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sugarcult | ] |
Not sure why I'm writing here now. I got the lyric "it's 1:45 and I'm feeling alive" bouncing into my head, but it's 1:58 so I can't really say that. I'm also not feeling terribly alive since I'm forcing myself to stay up and prepare for my make-up math test tomorrow. So I guess what I'm doing here is putting off my studies that I'm staying up for. I am so efficient.
I finally found a group of people in this town who kind of LOVE me. Despite/because of my never-wavering sarcasm and blunt outbursts. I've been experiencing a growing trend: after a few weeks of getting to know me, most people admit that they thought I was a bitch when we first met and they thought I hated them. I've been getting a reputation of needing a disclaimer. At the monthly blues party last night, Scott introdued me to someone with a "Let me tell you something about Tanya that only a few people know. She's mean all the time. She's really a bitch. And she's proud of it, look at her! But we love her." Others have come up to me proclaiming they love how I am AND that I need to come with a disclaimer. I knew I was a habitual line-setepper, but I was never really aware of said disclaimer before this glorious group of people. Unfortunate part is I'm pretty sure they're all graduating like... now. And blahhhh. On the other hand, when I weigh all the elements of yesteday and last night, I have never had a better Saturday[/Sunday morning].
My loverly Michelle Bell came back [again] for the blues party. And because she loves me. We've been talking to a few artists about the tattoos we want to get. Apparently the guy here in the burg is a good artist, but kind of a dick. He doesn't really make me comfortable and I don't think I wanna get tattoed by him. Besides, we need to consult Seattle, and Keith recommended someone [in Wenatchee I think]. But the more I talk about and describe the tattoo I want the more I want it done NOW. But I need to LOVE it. Siiiigh. Shell and I have basically decided on the matching tattoos we're getting, which works, but I still feel like something amazingly perfect for the two of us will come along and be like BAM why didn't we think of that before?
I'll be buying a new car very soon... 2007 Honda Civic Hyrbrid. I feel like since I burn avgas all week long I should try to compensate the damage to the environment. This is also the time of my life to be in debt. Why not splurge on something I can enjoy everyday?
I'm entertaining the idea of spending time in Redmond for the summer. But I want to work out one week on one week off all summer. I want to squeeze out the good times in the burg while I can, and fly regularly [so I can't just skip out for a month at a time], and I THINK the Goose would allow me. Redmond has family and nephews and Michelle. Eburg has good pay, flight training, and some awesome people. If I were to pull it off, I would try to get hired at the Kenmore Lanes casino... [sweet jesus I CANNOT work at Bella again...] So if they want to hire me [I come with so many perks; I'm awesome and licensed and need no training] and IF I can get them to agree to one week on, one week off, this may very likely be a possibility. Then I would need to get someone in the burg to come check on the pets while I'm gone. Hmmm.
kthxbye. |
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| OMG shoes |
[May. 15th, 2007|05:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | guess :-p | ] |
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| If I had a tumor I would name it Wednesday |
[May. 13th, 2007|02:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sleepless in Seattle | ] |
I had a dream last night that I smoked like 5 cigarettes. I was also part of some horror movie plot in an office building or house where weird inexplicable things keep happening (due to the spirits which haunt it of course); and people I know where getting caught by the ghosts and turned into dead, life-sucking spirits themselves. Just like your average horror film, they could only be turned to normal and the ghosts defeated by speaking with the locals or researching the local library about what horrible catastrophe happened in that building/house. But that's not what I'm going to focus on here. Lately, in the real world, I've been wishing that I had a habit similar to smoking. I get the urge to just step outside for a smoke. But I all... don't want cancer... or emphysema... or the like. I just need something to occupy myself. Like smoke; but I don't want to smoke!
I think this has come up due to recent, serious conversations with people who have the luxury to stop the train of thought because they "need" to step out for a cigarette. Makes me jealous. |
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| Kevin Smith |
[Apr. 28th, 2007|04:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | an evening with kevin smith 2 (dvd) | ] |
Yesterday in the mail I received "Jay and Silent Bob DoDegrassi: The Next Generation."
And it's amazing. I also received "An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder." I'm only an hour into it, but it's quite amazing. Best friend needs to buy it! |
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| The google toolbar is also a calculator |
[Apr. 24th, 2007|12:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  enlightened | ] |
This is what happened when I started searching for Pirates of the Caribbean:
and then I tested it out:
 |
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